When I Get My Heart Back
by Rebecca Cunningham
Summary: Some of the Org. XIII guys are talking about what they'll do when they get their hearts back. Warning: Not edited, except for self editing. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, the characters, or whatever I'm referencing. Now hope you enjoy the fic.

In the Castle That Never Was,

Xemnas, Larxene, Marluxia, Xigbar, and Vexen are all taking a breather before they all go on their separate assigned missions to various worlds. They are all in the coffee shop adjoining room to the library and sitting in their respective tables.

Xigbar then spoke, "What are you dudes an' dudette all planning when you get your hearts back?" Xemnas scrunches his nose and moves to sit next to Vexen. Clearly the Freeshooter is exercising in the gym while wearing his pajamas again with his partner in crime, Xaldin. Anyone can smell the stench of sweat and grime coming from him. _"I must be not thinking clearly when I sat down next to Number Two."_ The Superior thinks to himself, even Xigbar's black cloak smells.

Xigbar props his boots on the table, "Well?"

"Me?" Vexen takes part in the conversation. "I'm going to continue my life as a chemist and geneticist in Radiant Garden. But first I'll need to disguise myself so I won't get hanged for treason."

Saïx and Lexaeus appear in the coffee shop. Saïx then asks "What's going on, lady and gentlemen?"

"We're just having a lively conversation of what we are going to do after Kingdom Hearts is complete and we retain our hearts." Larxene tells them. "I know what I'm going to do."

Lexaeus shudders. "Maybe watching me perishing in pyroclastic flow and filming it." Larxene makes some soft giggles which eventually turn to laughter; she really wants the Silent Hero to die in a violent, agonizing, and 'screaming for help' death.

"Well, I did promise her my Ipod and to put her in the dedication of whatever geological book I manage to pen in this life and after." Lexaeus sat next to Marluxia. Vexen's expression reads, "Lexaeus, you're too soft on that neophyte and I thought I don't get any respect around here." Lexaeus relaxes back to his calm state. "Oh, I want to wed a nice quiet girl and settle down with a family. Of course, I'll spoil the kids."

Saïx just shrugs his shoulders. "Hhhmmm."

When Larxene is finished with her laughing fit, she says, "Like Lexy, I'll get married, but to find the right guy." Roxas and his two friends, Axel and Luxord, enter the room just at the exact moment when Larxene makes her declaration of her plans.

"I know, it's me. I'm quite the devil." Axel says, straightening his crazy hair with his hands. He, Roxas, and Luxord take a seat at an empty table.

"No me, Axel, you're not the only one who is a demon in this organization. I process a myriad of charms and gentlemanly aura that any lady will commit homicide for." Luxord bangs his fists on the table.

"Yeah, if they don't die of paper cuts while page flipping through the dictionary, Luxord!" Axel would have burned Luxord to death except when their gazes meet Roxas' exasperated eyes, they decide to postpone the 'gentleman's duel' for later. The Key of Destiny rolls his eyes. "Guys, don't involve me in your snagging the woman schemes. Because it involves ninety-nine percent of the time my arms getting ripped off in the process." But Roxas is flirting with the thought of finding the perfect girl, too; he did not say this aloud to his fellow Nobodies.

"Gentlemen, what's wrong with bushido and gardening?" Marluxia suddenly voices his opinion. "Clearly Larxene wants a stable warlord. In addition, my strength, brains, ruthlessness, and green thumb will be enough to satisfy and win her."

Vexen mutters under his breath about if he were Larxene (or any girl for that matter) he would never choose Marluxia, because the samurai code is one of the reasons why he loathes the Graceful Assassin in the first place (Marluxia follows a warped version of bushido which makes life in the Thirteenth Order adaptable for him).

Xigbar on the other hand is jumping up and down in his seat waving his hands. "Pick me, Larxene, I'm the wild type. Ladies dig my type!" Xemnas, Marluxia, and Lexaeus are all thinking the same thing: Drag Xigbar to the bathroom and give him a thorough bath.

Xaldin appears. "Am I missing something, Gents?"

"Larxene's just talking about what dude she'll pick when she gets her heart back," Xigbar filled in Xaldin with the details.

"I see. Well then, Dilan leads a nomadic lifestyle because he is the type of meteorologist that folks call the 'storm chasers.' He goes from place to place recording data and warning towns of savage weather. This is all before he joins Ansem the Wise in researching the heart."

Vexen shrugs his shoulders, "I'll advertise myself to a woman who I know won't electrocute me, mess with my mind, and injure my pride all in one minute. It's all for the ego boost, gentlemen."

"Sheesh, as if Professor Dumb Blond is describing Demyx." Axel propped his feet on the table, causing Roxas to teleport seats so he would not have to smell his friend's awful boots. He sat right next to Axel, instead of opposite of him. The Flurry of Dancing Flames' green eyes showed a sadistic glee at Roxas's discomfort.

"Quite the contrary, Axel. It is not the Melodious Nocturne, because whenever I get a brilliant idea to perform an experiment on him, he either runs away, I never find him, or he always appears he's in a mission, even if he is ill, albeit," Vexen observes. One would think that since they both manipulate water that Demyx will give the senior member more respect and follow him for science reasons. Everyone in the coffee shop knows that Demyx is bent on preserving his skin, whether he has a heart or not. Secondly, everyone knows that Vexen wants to experiment on everyone and find out how they work – Which is the primary reason of why he's not present, he asked for a long mission...That way he won't have to be in the Savage Nymph and the Chilly Academic's clutches.

It is easy to figure out which woman the Melodious Nocturne will choose when he regains his heart. It will definitely not be Larxene. Vexen rolls his eyes. "The woman I want when I get my heart back, well, why would I want to experiment on her?" Everyone gives him the "Oh, we know you, you would." Vexen ignores them and says. "I'll probably wish that she will stalk me, regardless of the fact that I used to be the off limits malevolent sinister scientist who her family will love to hate."

Larxene climbs up the table, standing erect, and announced, "You babies are all wrong!" She got their attention. "Especially, you, four eyes!" A little gulp from Lexaeus can be heard. Everything is quiet.

A portal of darkness appears, out steps Zexion, "Hi, bye, comrades." He zips to the library. They can hear him muttering about research, science, and "Must need data."

"I want that one." Larxene points to Zexion's direction.

Everyone's mouths drop in surprise and shock, except for Xemnas and Saïx. Xemnas stands up. "Twelve, I am sure we all admire your ambition to marry an aristocratic honor student from a filthy rich reputed family. But what about your happiness, when you get your heart back? Ten, Five, and even your colleagues, Eleven, Nine, and Eight can provide you with the thrills, happiness, and (ahem) servitude that you can ever use, need, and want."

"You dunderheads don't get it. I picked Zexy because he can cook. I don't care if he blurts out techno-babble and Geek-glish that anybody does not know (except for Lexy), the guy is a chef. Me and my girly somebody on the other hand can only make butter popcorn, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tuna sandwiches, and boil water." Sadly for Larxene, she cannot cook to save her life, except for those food items she mentioned. "Now this can get boring over time, unless I slip hemlock in my victims' lunch."

A chilly air enters the cozy coffee shop. This felt like a bad omen, because the coffee shop of the Castle That Never Was does not have any windows to keep the stove and coffee maker heat in. Larxene hops off of the table.

"Now if you weirdos must excuse me, I must construct my wedding plans. There is naught that you guys can do about it, not even Four Eyes. Hahahahahahahahahaha."

The men feel a fear surge down their none existent spines. Lexaeus pushes air up his nose bridge. Doing the motion is second nature for him, since Aeleus wore glasses.

"Poor Number Six, I hope he makes his early will." Xemnas feigns with a sigh. He knows that he covets the next door library (If anyone can call Xemnas's state coveting, since he has no emotions whatsoever).

"Er, poor Zexion, if I know anything about the Savage Nymph." Marluxia says to the others. He is one of the first to recover from her 'Prince Charming' revelation. "It's her way or the highway." Axel rubs his collar bone; he remembers one of the missions where he and Larxene were assigned to go. A very scarring reality nightmare in the back of his memories, he never told Roxas, Lexaeus, and Luxord of what happened, which is odd since he's very close to them.

"Now I wonder what is worse," Roxas finally speaks up. "Running for my life since everyone in my world wants me dead for high treason, a woman who will force the priest, the justice of the peace, or whomever to marry you both because you are Cooking Daddy, or C. All of the above."

After everyone has left, Saïx then asks Xemnas, "Sir, you did not have a say of what is your fantasy woman?"

"Oh, Seven, I don't remember my past to even dream of that. You?"

"Just wanting to move to Atlantis, Superior, it's just an occupation searching. Not much."

Zexion appears in the coffee shop, "What happened? My instincts inform me that those mental neophytes did some demented event. I can smell it from the library."

"We did not injure ourselves, Six, I assure your doubting mind."

The Cloaked Schemer does not know of Larxene's plans for him or the reason why Saïx is rubbing his hands as if he is going to tear a victim to shreds; there's a savage glee emitting from his face. All he knows is that Xigbar, Xemnas, Vexen, Larxene, Lexaeus, Xaldin, Roxas, Axel, and Luxord were in the same room, but abruptly left for their missions, except for the Superior and the Lunar Diviner.

"If you gentlemen must excuse me, I must return to one of Vexen's experiments. I cannot leave it for more than ten minutes."

The End

AN: I did a bit of research on pink. It is actually a masculine color in Japan and is connected to the samurai – Just like the sakura and cherry blossoms. – So Marly talking about bushido is no error of mine. Now don't think I'm bashing the awesomeness that is Larxene - it's for one reasons: first of all, she doesn't strike me as the type to learn cooking, which is why I made her cooking skills limited.


End file.
